Is it possible to find peace when you live with an alcoholic? Well, I’ve not personally experienced it myself and I suspect if you don’t follow a 12 step programme like Al-Anon, then the answer is No!
If you haven’t heard of Al-Anon, I’ve got it covered. I shared my experience of Al-Anon here.
As you probably know if you’ve lived with a drinker, it can be chaotic. Finding peace at any time can be hard, sometimes it’s just snippets of time.
What is peace?
Freedom from disturbance, tranquillity
Living with someone’s drinking often creates disturbance, whether it’s calls at 2am to say they have no money for the taxi, or ranting at you for whatever reason. Often it can be the over-thinking in your mind, worry and anxiety that stops you feeling peace. This is just some examples, they make it really difficult to find peace when you live with an alcoholic!
How does it feel to not have peace?
It isn’t just the sound of silence, it’s about the peace you feel within yourself. That could be with your decisions, opinions, beliefs or just how’s you’ve acted in a situation. Your head can get the better of you can’t it?
The lack of peace can often feel like your head is in a washing machine, that you feel very doubtful and constantly questions you choices. You may always be concerned about others and how you can best help them. Maybe you have a busy life, constantly on the go and doing things.
Sometimes it can feel normal and you may not recognise you lack peace, what you experience is your life.
For me, it’s also about the confidence within yourself, when you’re confident in your thinking, feelings and behaviour you have a sense of peace. Assured that you are doing the right thing for you.
How can you start to find peace?
First of all, you can’t control the drinker (no matter how hard you try). So you have to find your own peace in whichever way works for you.
Here are some suggestions, but as always, find what works for you.
- Consider going to an Al-Anon support group (I know you may think “I’m not the one with the problem”, but ultimately you do have A problem, not a drinking problem but a problem none-the-less)
- I like the Insight Timer App which really helps with meditating, they’re guided meditations so easy if you haven’t meditated before, but nice if you have
- Find something you enjoy doing that gives you an inner piece, even in a moment.
- Plan somewhere you can go to remove yourself from any chaotic situations, no matter for how long
It’s not easy finding peace when you’re in the midst of the drama, it does depend on your drinker. Some are more chaotic than others, sometimes it’s the mental processes that go on that stop your peace.
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