Daughters of alcoholics and motivation

How do you motivate yourself? This is not something I’ve ever really struggled with, of course there are jobs I don’t like doing, but generally I just get on with it.
For me a lot of the time people spend too much time thinking about doing it, instead of actually doing it.

Daughters of alcoholics and motivation

If I think about how I think and break it down, I decide that there is something that needs doing, I don’t tend to let my mind take over and I don’t listen to the “”oh but it’s nice here on the sofa stuff””. Also I don’t tend to have that chatter anyway, I think that’s linked to the fact I LOVE to get things done. I love fixing things, sorting, tidying so it’s in my nature and sits well with me.
My need to have things “in order” far outweighs the need to sit down on the sofa or just relax.
That isn’t always a good thing because at times, it’s good to just relax. Most people feel a sense of achievement once they’ve done the thing they set out to do, it’s just the doing of it that seems to be the issue.
So what stops you? Is it your head getting in the way?
Ultimately, if you want something done, unless you pay someone to do it, you’ll have to do it at some point. So it’s a matter of when not if.

Just do it

With that in mind, surely it’s just better to get on with it, avoid spending time thinking about it but take steps to put things in motion. Underneath all this is other stuff going on (isn’t there always). You may have some sabaotaging happening, think something won’t turn out right or good enough.

Working through it

That stuff does need looking at if you really want to be able to get motivated on a consistent basis. For me there isn’t another way to live, I look to understand myself and what’s going on so I don’t have to keep living days that feel the same, dealing with the same challenges. That seems pointless to me.
I get it, not everyone likes the thought of therapy or going within and figuring out why you aren’t motivated (for example). That’s fine, but find a way.. because otherwise it’ll always be an issue for you.

Motivation in a context

You may just feel demotivated in a particular context, e.g. at work. Maybe it’s not the right job for you, or you need to tweak some things for it to be better? Then the motivation will come flooding in.
Bottom line – your motivation is your responsibility (sorry I know we sometimes want to offload it)
Motivational Interviewing is a great technique, as the name suggests it helps you with your motivation. Used a lot in recovery.

Thoughts to leave you with

  • Break things down to manageable chunks, if you look at what you need to do and think “eugh”, change the task, make it smaller 
  • Stop thinking about it, just do it
  • Look at why you aren’t feeling motivated about the thing you need to do, ask yourself what’s stopping me being motivated about this, listen for the answer
  • Your motivation is your responsibility

Sharing

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Next Steps

If you’d like to chat then do get in touch, I’m happy to gift you some time. Simply email jo@johuey.co.uk or call (07732) 403305. 
Remember you aren’t alone and you can always join my Daughters of Alcoholics Facebook group, where other daughters of alcoholics support each other with challenges they experience from the past or present.  You may have lived with an alcoholic in your past, but it’s still impacting you in the present. 
I also run the Two Roads Travelled podcast with my sister, click here to find out more. 

 

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